Sexy Smexy: Getting Smart about Getting It On with Endometriosis

I think one of the most common topics I see discussed in my endo groups is the pain experienced during sex and how to prevent it. After all, orgasms and sex can be beneficial in easing the cramping associated with endometriosis. Plus who doesn't want to get down and dirty with their partner whenever the mood strikes? So class, let's get smart about getting it on with endometriosis.

(Mom, Dad, other family members if you are reading this, stop! I'm about to discuss sex, you might want to turn back now. You've been warned!)

Sexy Smexy: Getting Smart about Getting It On with Endometriosis

1. Foreplay - Don't just focus on your partner!

Seriously, get your motor properly running by whatever means necessary. Make out like crazy teenagers for a bit. Take your time getting naked. Dance. Touch yourself. Have your partner touch you. Getting yourself properly ready means the pain might not be as bad or non-existent. So literally get your juices going.

2. Lube Up

I am guilty of never doing this. Mostly because I only think about buying lube when I am about to drag my hubby upstairs. But invest in lube. Even if you are all ready to go, the extra lubrication will make it even easier. Easier entry, less pain. Less pain, more fun! And speaking of fun with lube, they make all different kinds. Warming, edible, cooling, water-resistant, the list goes on. Buy all the colors and flavors your heart and body desire. (Just make sure they are compatible with your condoms.)

3. Try New Condoms

Speaking of condoms, try out different ones. Not only are some brands and styles preferred for pleasure reasons, but different brands and styles can affect your vagina and endo. You might not have a latex allergy but maybe lambskin or vegan condoms make you bleed less after or leave you feeling fresher than latex.

Side note for condoms and lube - Know what you are putting in/on your body. Never use lube or condoms that you don't trust the ingredients of. If you are gluten-free, read the labels. Gluten turns up EVERYWHERE in personal care products. Read your labels!!!!

4. Try New Positions

One thing I hate about my endo is the lack of available, pain-free positions. However, I have my bag of tried and true bedroom tricks that keep my body happy while getting some. Find whatever position works for you! Not sure what to try? Skip missionary. Most women seem to find this painful, myself included. Instead toss your partner on the bed and hop on top. Don't worry about how you look. You look fucking sexy. Stop worrying about your stomach. Your partner isn't worried about it. They think you look sexy as hell, because you do.

5. Know Your Best Time for Booty

Knowing your cycle is very important for pain-free sex. Keep a log of when you are most swollen, have the most pain, when you bleed, and your cycle. For me, I know that I have a window of about 3-7 days each cycle when I can get lucky without bleeding after. It's not a huge window, but we make the most of it. So learn your cycle, learn your body and plan when you are going to get some. Spontaneous? Not really (at least not until you learn your cycle well), but you can turn the tables in your favor. Set up a sexy date with your partner and know that even though it may be the only time you are going to get laid any time soon, you can still make it an event worth remembering!

6. Prep for Clean Up

So you tried new positions, learned your cycle, traded in crappy condoms for amazing ones, have a big bottle of lube and tons of foreplay but you still end up bleeding and in pain. It's OK!!! Keep a towel handy and a fresh undies with a nice pad in the bathroom for clean up. After you clean yourself up, snuggle on the couch or in bed next to your partner with your heating pad. Again, it's OK! If you were into BDSM and your partner and you just finished an intense scene, you would need time to come down afterwards. You would need to reset. So think of it in those terms. You just need to reset and rest.

Now, I can't tell you a way to completely prevent bleeding during or after sex. It just happens to some of us. As does the pain. You can be 100% solid with your prevention plan and it will still happen. It does to me all the time. There are plenty of times I want my man and can't touch because I am already bleeding or in pain. It SUCKS!!! It sucks big ol' hairy balls. But it's OK. Because I know that I will have a few good days again within 2 weeks or so.

If your (or your partner's) endometriosis is keeping you from feeling comfortable during sex, try these tips and get that booty.

Until next time my lovelies!

-M

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